The weakest link is where I found my strength

Ironman Louisville Race Recap

Race morning we woke up at 4:15 and ate bagels fruit and Lara bars. Jack and I got rolling around 5AM both joking and feeling very relaxed.
I got into transition, filled my aero bottle and tires and headed to the swim with Micky Ryzmic, Jack and Tim Ritt. The mood was loose as we were all dropping middle aged white guy jokes left and right. Good stuff....body marking was quick and painless as were the facilities. We jumped in line for the swim with kar-Ming and Chris. We lost Jack some where, but figured he jumped in line with some other CTC folks....We waited an hour or so for the canon, and then 40 minutes to get in the water.

At the swim start we just ran down a dock in a single file line and jumped in, and started swimming. It seemed like a very smooth process. Once in, I focused on settling my heart rate and finding my stroke. The first 3/4 miles are into the current with an island to the left making the channel narrow. This caused some congestion but it wasn't bad. I did throw a few elbows in defense, but it was light contact for the most part. Once around the island you swim with the current. The river was moving slowly, so this wasn't much help. I just swam and enjoyed the meditation of a long open water swim. I never missed having a wet suit. The swim went smoothly. My swim time was 1:39.40. On the surface it was slow, but we also had no wetsuits or mass start pull. I am satisfied with my swim.

T1 was uneventful. I took my time and made sure every thing was sound and moved on. 7:42

I hit the bike feeling very good. my turnover was good and I felt as good on the bike as I have all year. I began passing peaple immediately. My race plan is generally to hang back early, butI felt fine and easy, so I just went with it. The first 12 miles are flat and easy. As I headed into an early climb I dropped my chain. No big deal, I got it back going with out a dismount. A little while later it happened again. This time I had to dismount. While clipping back in I was rear ended by another rider. I checked to makesure he and his bike were OK, checked myself and proceeded. At this point I became aware that the chain would be an issue and it made me tenitve when dropping into my small ring. My speed was good at around a 16.40 avg mph. This was my goal pace. At around mile 40 we hit a series of short steep inclines. On the toughest one I dropped into my small ring and spun out. I got my foot to the ground quickly as I had no power and was afraid I would go down. I heard other riders say "He broke his chain, that sucks". They were talking about me. I pulled the bike off of the course, took a leak, and got to work on the chain. This slowed me down, but I was able to do a quick fix. I hopped on and could not get the chain to stay in the small ring. At the next aid station I got off to do some adjustments. They had a mechanic that went to work on it, so I sat under a tent and had a Lara bar and bottle of water. I also watched the rest of the field roll past me. I was a teporary spectator and I was soon going to be far back. I thought of Jen C at lake placid and her determination to keep going. I remained calm and refused to become frustrated by my trouble.
Once the mechanic handed the bike back to me I got moving. I had to walk a line between getting back into position and staying patient. I still had 70 miles to ride and the heat was rising. The chain was working well so I began to feel more confident in the bike. I started moving up in the pack once again. I found another rider that was trying to recover time after a broken chain. We were together for a short time before a tube shot out of my tool bag. I had failed to zip it after the aid station. Duh! The tube got caught between my brake caliper and wheel. The other rider vanished. I shook my head, dealt with it and got moving. I was growing a little frustrated, but remained calm knowing I had 50 more miles and it was getting really hot. I maintained a good mix of urgency and patients. I began once again to pass riders that were familiar from before my many mechanical issues. The second loop was much less eventful. Just roller after roller and VERY HOT.
Within the last 25 miles I saw a lot of riders camped in the shade at the side of the road. My confidence was on the upswing, and I spun my way through the final flat 12 miles before arriving at T2.
Bike time 7:35. I am very happy about my effort and ability to stay positive through all of the mechanical issues. In hindsight I would have swapped out the chain a few weeks ago. It was the only heavy wear gear I decided to not replace. Lesson learned.

At T2 I saw the other broken chain victom. I was happy to know I had made up a lot of ground. I got ready to run, got sunscreen, hit the loo and headed off to the marathon. My legs felt good and I was feeling very positive. I had made the cut off. I was still going.

The first 4 miles of the run were going well. I ran from aid station to aid station and enjoyed the crowd along the course. The heat was brutel. Mid 90's. My pace slowed and the walk breaks grew longer as I was doing every thing I could to stay cool and hydrated. I began to see all the CTC friends I had lost contact with hours earlier.
During the mid section, my walk breaks were becoming jog breaks. My attitude was still good. I spent much of this time encouraging others. I think sharing my positive feelings helped me to maintain a good attitude myself.
Some where close to mile 16 I started to get into a funk. I was really growing tired and my focus was waining. I began to question my well being. I was having trouble consuming fuel. I really took my time trying to get pretzels, gels, banana's, water, gatorade, and coke inside of me. I fought off nausea and pushed forward. The finish seemed so far away, but I had come so far. I couldn't quit, but I wasn't sure if I could continue. the dark of night brought cooler temperatures, but the heat of the day had done its damage. I was spent. My goal was to remain upright and forward.
At the final turn around I broke through the darkness. I could see my path clearly. I was able to stretch my running further and further. Walk breaks shortened. I was rooting every one else on and geting chatty. I grabbed a full 24 ouce bottle of water and just sipped the rest of the way. The closer I got, the better I felt. I ran alot of the final section and turned onto fourth street feeling really strong.
The crowd on fourth was amazing. I couldn't help but to ham it up as I coaxed the crowed to get louder. Just before going under the Ironman arch before the finish, I cought my toe on a cobble stone. My hamstring completey seized and I stopped, hobbling in circles. The crowed quieted. I turned to the finish, picked up my legs and found my stride. The crowed roared as I ran into the finish. I was VERY happy. It was fun looking up at the big sceen to see my finish.
Run 5:51.18 Wow, that is a long time to be on a marathon course. I was so happy just to finish.This run was really hard. The heat was brutal.
Total time 15:24.25
After I finished I walked over to the convention center for recovery. I grabbed what limited food I could and laid down in the hall way with my feet in the air. I made phone calls to Bbop, M, and my folks. As I got off the phone with M, I felt a little quizzy and rolled on my side. A volunteer asked if I needed assistance. I declined. He said he would be much more comfortable if I went to medical. The next thing I know I was in a wheel chair with about five volunteers surrounding me. My hamstring was completely locked up and screaming and I was having a familiar hypoglycemic attack. This includes a seizure, blackout, fainting, and my skin turning ghostly white. They hooked me up to an IV massaged my hamstring and ran tests. As I began to feel better I got a hold of Jack. He said his son Michael had already retrieved my bike and gear. I became chatty with the other athletes starring at the ceiling. Michael came to escort meback to the hotel and all was good.
I am very greatful to the medical staff, volunteers and Michael.

Overall I achieved my goals. I dug deep and left every thing on the course. I fought through all adversity, stayed positive and had an amazing day. The city of Louisville is great.
Thank you all for your help and encouragement throughout the past year.

Track my race

Well, we are 12 hours from race time. Louisville is hot( mid to low 90s), but the humidity is low(43%). Wetsuits are out, but the river is comfy. Every thing is set and all we can do is rest and eat.

You can track my race at Ironman.com I am #1649.
If you have never done this before, it is updated as I pass over certain points on the race course. Last year it was a huge mental boost to know that so many were watching my progress. I remember passing over a timing mat and announcing "I am still going mom!". Thank you all for your support.

Also, this year you can view the finish line on ironman.com as well. I don't think that link is up yet, but look for the audio/video link. I will be wearing my CTC gear. My guess on a finish time would be between 13 and 17 hrs. But who knows? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

One more thing, many of you have sent well wishes via Facebook.
Thank you.

Transition is full

DSCN1572
Originally uploaded by charliemosbrook

Empty Transition

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Originally uploaded by charliemosbrook

We are in Louisville

We got in at about 1pm. Much different than the UK. I haven't left the hotel except for a second. It is HOT here.
We are of to dinner.

Just two more

the last two
Originally uploaded by charliemosbrook

This is my bike after Steelhead

How deep the river

Ever since I watched Jen finish Ironman Austria back in 1999, I had dreamed of finishing one myself. Jen is a much better athlete then I, so it was hard to fathom myself having the endurance to cover 140.6 miles. I had completed a few marathons at this time, but Ironman seemed like such an impossible goal. It wasn't until my first 70.3 completion that I could imagine going the full distance.

My first Ironman in the UK was the magical experience I had dreamed of. I never struggled with my training and found race day followed in the same manner. My enthusiasm carried me through the tough times. I really never felt that the finish was out of reach as long as I was patient and followed my plan. The work was a lot, but it was what I wanted to do. finishing Ironman was my priority.

This year I have found it to be much tougher. I have other goals I am working towards. My time has been gladly spread to other area's in my life. Sometimes I have been to tired or bored of training. Week after week I have followed my plan whether I want to or not. Sometimes the desire to quit has been strong.

Sometimes I have wanted to do what other people do on Saturday or at happy hour. I have wanted to sleep in or spend more time with M. Time management has not been as easy, as my attention has been divided into area's outside of triathlon. I have sought methods to better manage my limited time, but ultimately my priorities have not been as focused on Ironman as they were prior to my first.

Some how the months rolled by and my training stayed on track despite my lack of enthusiasm. My fitness was intact, but my motivation was lost. I wasn't clear on why I wanted to do Ironman, I was just training because I was registered for the race in Louisville.

When I got to Morgantown for the ½ I found my self with nothing on the inside. I had the physical strength for the race, but my heart was weak. I didn't care. Leaving that race, I knew that if I was to finish Ironman I would have to do some real soul searching. I would have to look deeper then I had before. I would have to continue to build my physical strength, but if I wanted to succeed with Ironman I would have to focus on building my strength from within.

The next month was one of long and frequent workouts. I had a handful of big breakthrough workouts, but mostly I focused on the frequency of my workouts. I spent most of the big workouts looking deeply trying to find focus. At Steelhead I realised the results of my renewed commitment. I found strength and joy from within. I PR'd that day, but the real victory was in finding my self. The difference between Morgantown and Steelhead was not in my physical fitness, it was my heart.

Somehow this season I had forgotten why I do this. I had begun to compare myself to others and look upon outward results as a gauge of my development. When I made the conscious decision to return to my heart, everything began to fall into place.

As a triathlete my best is not demonstrated in how fast or far I am able to go. My best is a reflection of how deep I am able to dig. This is also true of my music, relations, work and life. My athletic goals are spiritual. I approach the start of Ironman as the final stage of a long look into my soul.

My second Ironman experience has been much tougher than the first. I have had to work much harder this time around. I have had to force myself at times to train. It was not always fun. I had doubt in my training and desire. Overcoming this, to reach the point I find myself today has been the true victory. I am physically, spiritually, and emotionally ready.-

My bike is also ready. Performance addressed my package improperly. I was able to get a refund and fill the order locally. They were able to help me resolve the issue. I am grateful for this.

One week out.

So I sit here Sunday morning sipping coffee and watching IMCanada. I am headed to the pool for a quick swim followed by a 24/3.5 mile brick.

Later this afternoon My friend M and I will be clipping my hair, and then Bbop and I are headed to Lakewood for a pre IM get together.

Friday Zac, Nichole and I had Indian food. A year ago we ate a lot of curry dishes together in the UK. This year we had the same as our pre IM feast.

Yesterday "M" and I were jogging at mentor headlands when Micky(GCT RD) pulled up and gave us some water. I was a little post dal gassy.

My family celebrated my moms birthday last night. They had a Ben and Jerry's cake. I ate fruit. My sister rubbed it in. I told her I would let her enjoy the cake, but to expect some links about dairy. My niece Sarah(age 8) said she was considering becoming a vegetarian. I told her to read up about it and keep her Ice Cream gloating mother informed about her diet.

One more thing. Congrats to the local bicycle maker on his gold medal in the Olympics. This young fella works down the street from Rocco's. I am wishing him luck in his next big goal. A freaking NBA title!.

1649

Race numbers have been assigned and I am #1649. If you would like to track my race, follow this link
www.ironman.com

The taper is going well I feel healthy and fit. My running is really at a high point. I have been running 7:30-8:30 miles. My HR is stable and the effort is reasonable. One key is my butt injury has mostly healed. I love running faster. I have to control this urge.
The helmet has produced some amazing results in field tests. In some spots I gained 5-6 mph. Mostly 2-3 at speeds above 20mph. Over 112 miles this could add up.

Swimming is going well. I am bummed that the pool will be closed after ironman. Last year, the post race swims were nice. The ND college lap pool is much more get in/get out. It is much harder to relax.

I am nervous about my package from performance bike. I ordered it on the 12th. It is not here yet, It contains brake pads, bar tape, cleats, tires and tubes. It is important stuff. I want to ride on the tires pre race. I want the bike to be ready by tuesday. Arrrrgggggg. I figured I would save time by going online.
Spend a little time, save a little stress.

Last night was a blast. Thank you to everyone who came to the gig. Singing is a great taper activity.

Into the waves

I hit the CTC open water swim this evening. The waves were huge(GCT/Steelhead huge). I hadn't taken my wet suit, so I was would be able to gain more confidence for the no wetsuit possibility in Kentucky. We swam for 30 minutes or so. Fun stuff.....I have a gig at AJ Rocco's Thursday at 8 PM.....I accept tubes for tips.

1 more thing: I am a nerd....I have an areo helmet.............

Taper blues

The taper is so stressfull to me.
I want to roll up in bubble rap and watch cartoons. I can't make sense of my emotions. I want to eat. I want to run. I want to buy gear. I want to register for 6 marathons, 3 ironmans, 1 ultra and the bi-athlon this sunday. I want to be in louisville right now. I want to hammer in thee pool, I want coffee, I want cookies, I want to race, I want my mom, I want to race, I want to do hill work, I want a strawberry tufutti shake from tommy's. I want to work on my bike. The Olympics have got me fired up. I can't wait. I want to be in Kentucky.

TickTickTick

I had to get a new watch today. My HRM is a bit beat up. I have had to hold the strap down with a zip Tye on the HRM and my older timex IM. With Ironman within 15 day's, I thought it time to replace my watch.

My first thought was to get a GPS/HRM. I can't afford the garmin stuff, and battery life seems to be in question. I wouldn't use it for the race any way. I found some good deals on the Timex bodylink Ironman watches, but it came down to the question of whether I would need it for race day or not.

After Ironman, I plan to train for nothing for a few months. I will exorcise and race, but it will be a loose affair. Heart Rate, speed and distance will not be a concern for some time.

I decided to hold off on the fancy stuff until I get my 50k training going
For now, I just need a good watch. 50 lap Timex Ironman. This is the one I got.

I am weighting for the USPS to bring some things for the bike. Tires, tubes, tape, cleats, brake pads.
I have new goggles from Steelhead. My running shoes have some hours on them. I need to replace them.

Ironman is 15 days away. The time is coming fast. I want to enjoy this time as relaxed as I am able. Being prepared early is important. I want to leave nothing till the last minute.

It is time to get my things in order. It is almost time for ironman..........

The Great Lakes Unplanned Duathlon series continued today as Lake Erie made Steelhead look like a pony ride at a rodeo.

I didn't race. My job was post race music. I told Micky I was doing the sprint next year before I play. I love GCT. Mickey takes very good care of me. He has since he received my first GCT entry in '05. His personal approach makes this race one nobody misses. It is getting to the point that if you don't race, you volunteer. I get the best job I can imagine. I get to play my guitar.

I am into my taper. I did a 5hr brick yesterday and 100 minute run today. Tuesday I want to swim 4500. After that, I have to keep my fitness sharp and stay healthy.

My confidence is high and I feel as though my training is right where I was aiming back in December. I have really had to reach deep this season.

There was a stretch where I really lost focus. I felt exhausted. I never considered quiting, but I wasn't clear on what I was doing it for. This culminated at Morgantown. I had a really bad day. I walked away feeling so dejected. A few emails found me and reassured me that we were all going through the same trials.

I hadn't struggled last year. Nothing was going to stop me. This year I wasn't so sure. I danced with doubt.

It was during the sweet corn ride that I broke through. I was standing at a cross roads when jack pulled up and assured me that I was lost, but not alone. Together we found our way. We forced our way back with the confidence a couple of guys wearing MDOT tattoos should have.

At Steelhead I executed my plan as well as I ever have. I adapted to format changes. I had fun. I came away from steelhead convinced.

My desire is back. Nothing is going to stop me. I am ready.

Steelhead 70.3....er....71.someting Du Race report

Bbop and I rolled into Benton Harbor Friday at 3:30. The area seemed dead until we got to the race site. At that point we were amongst LOTS of athletes.2500 registered. This meant a huge transition area and check in process.The organiation was top notch so this went by quickly. We were able to get some shopping done at the expo and sit down to some Cheeza hut. I at some cucumber. socialising with the other athletes was what this pre race party was for, so I wasn't to bent about the non vegan friendly menu. After wards we went to dinner and sat with Katy(from tri-swimming) and some other random athletes. Dinner was tasty and filling. We went back to the hotel and retired for the night.

While trying to sleep I experianced a little acid reflux, but nothing serious. It was never an issue again.

Race morning we headed back to the site. I got in and out of transition quickly and headed to the start up the beach. the lake looked rough, so we knew we were in for a challenge right away. I actually like rough water, so I was calm and just followed my pre race needs.....the loo. After I lost some weight it was anounced that a desision on whether we would swim would be made soon. The crowd had a mix of sighs and groans. I was disappointed, but I have dealt with unintentionalb du's 5 times before, so I just changed my focus and we walked back to transition to get ready for a run. My only concern was nutrition. I drank gatorade.

The swim was replaced by a 2.1 mile run. We would still start in waves. i went out at a 10k pace and just tried to hang with the crowd. Mostly in the shade and quick. One advantage was the preveiw off the finish chute. Lots of sand and uneven footing. I hit tansition and -prepared for the bike. I felt good. The knee pain I had beed dealing with was not a problem. 16.39 run/ 2:51 T1

I hit the bike and wondered if I had a flat. Bbop flew past me. I had no power. I decided to spin until my legs felt right.Within about 10 minutes I felt right again. This is normal for me. My plan was to start easy and hold back much like I would for 140.6. I mostly rode on my own and passed others slowly. I also found myself making room for the many pace lines that would blow past us all. The format of the race was to seed waves so that everyone would finish around the same time. This format allowed many slow racers like myself to witness the cheating that goes on up front. Cheaters suck.Congrats to all the drfters. You Cheated. Lame.
At the midway point I followed my plan to turn it up a notch. I began really moving fast. I was passing huge groups of riders. I continued to crank it up for the rest of the ride. At aid station I took water and poured it over my self to cool. I ate on schedual and took salt as planned. My only mistake was in running out of water while taking in the final gel. Bike: 2:53.57 My goal was sub 3.

In T2 I removed my shoes on entry. I was racked at the far end, so I went barefoot in. 3:16

The run started with a side stich. I ran thru it and took down plenty of water to dilute the gel from the bike. It worked. During the first lap I held off and ran relaxed. I used the sponges and dumped lots of water on myself to stay cool. I used gatorade and took a gel midway. the second half I once again ran with urgency. I pressed except at aid stations. I maintained my cooling plan and ran with strength the rest of the way. With 3 to go I ran with the plan of catching anyone with in my sight. Except for one runner I did that. At the finish I spinted past two more runners. Run- 2:09.32

Once I croossed the line, I pumped my fist as I knew my day went well. Final 5:26.18 PR adjuhsted with my worst swim time. I was a bit emotional in recovery. This year has been tough, and I felt that everything came together for this race. I am very happy about it, and I feel much better about IMKY.

CTC closed the day with 3 Clearwater spots. We went out and partied. Congrats to everyone.
I must sleep now.....More to come about this one.

Sweet Corn Challenge.....LOST!

I made a last minute training change Friday and decided to do an organized century ride. The sweet corn challenge begins and ends in Richfield Ohio just south of Cleveland. The ride is known for very tough hills and a feast of corn and chicken. I left the chickens off of my plate. Lots of CTC members took part including a strong showing by the IMKY group. For whatever reason the men and women all seemed to ride as two groups. I am unable to keep pace with the women, so I tried my hand with the fellas.

As we departed we immediately saw a down rider and an ambulance. I also realized that the rider was part of the fem' CTC group. I will refer you to Daisy Duc, Jodi, or Elizabeth's blog for details(all in my side bar). This caused lots of concern within our group, but it was being handled, so we peddled on.

The weather was great. The course is north east Ohio farm country. Aid staitions were well stocked. The hills were very challenging. I rode well and felt like I was getting in a good day of riding in.

Following the final aid station was a very steep climb. at this point I had 10 miles to go. I followed the rider just ahead of me.....................................................................
............................................................................... and discovered that I was no longer on the course. He and I studied the map and made a wrong decision. We rode south for a bit and turned around. He lived near by, so he just went home. I backtracked in hopes of finding my way.

As I rolled up to an intersection I saw Jack. I asked, "are you the search party, or are you lost to?".

He was also lost. Well at least I would have the company of a friend in finding my way. We took a series of wrong turns, but eventually got back on course to a section of the course we had both ridden. The section of the course that included the very steep hill......We both swore and grunted as we were forced to ascend this awful beast of a climb once again. We did take comfort in knowing that we were getting a work out that would provide the confidence we both needed to head into the final month before Ironman. In all we rode 120 miles. We are ready.

We headed to the post ride feast and joined a few CTCers for some corn and food. YUM.

Since Thursday I have logged 190 miles. I feel strong. I am ready. Next Saturday, Bbop and I are headed to Steelhead for a dress rehearsal.

Knowing limits

My favorite method of sharing humorous thoughts is to suggest a different point of view without ever actually telling the joke. My hope is to allow the imagination of whomever I am joking with to complete the tasteless humor that floats under my dome. If done correctly I can turn a simple smile into a very sick joke. If done poorly I end up having to explain myself. This is usually the point that my little joke fails and falls into inappropriateness. My theory is that I can share my most twisted thoughts without saying them. If successful, I can claim the thought was your own.

The line between appropriate and inappropriate is a fine one. When I cross it, I set myself up for problems. So I try to stay this side of a bad joke.

The past two weeks I have been pushing my training much further. Long swim days, long bike days, and long run days have dominated my training. The last big workout was a 2+ hr run Thursday. The run focus was to take advantage of the 90 degree heat and practice good hydration. The workout went well, but left my body a little tattered. My muscles were a bit dehydrated and tight. I battled some awful spasms late Thursday. I still feel the effects of the run and sensed a little cold looking for an opportunity to attack. There are many little things occurring with my body that tell me this is a good weekend to back off. At Rocco's, we have been setting sales records all week. Being on my feet all day and rushing about has also left me a bit tired.

So in an effort to stay a fit as I have been feeling lately, I am going to ere on the side of appropriate training behavior. If I reveal to much, my training might resemble bad joke.

For me the key to success is knowing when not to say to much.

Neighbors

I got a call from my neighbor AJ yesterday, letting me know he had won the Miltonman Oly this past Sunday. He and his roommate Brendon will be heading to Lake Placid this week as Brendon will be racing this coming Sunday. I have done some training with him and traveled to races with both of these guys. They are gifted.
Also racing in Lake Placid will be Kurt Molter. Kurt was my tent neighbor in the UK and the first person to say, "Charlie, you are an Ironman".
Any how Congrats to AJ, and good luck to Brendon and Kurt as well as Sam, Joe, Ben, and Ryan. Have a great race. I will be watching the finish line feed.

Today I become an Ironman

I am not in Austria. There will be no swim, no medal will be hung round my neck and no finish line celebration will happen. But what I do today will play a huge roll in whether or not I cross the finish line in Kentucky.

"Today I become an Ironman" is what I said to myself as I headed off for 90 miles around the Cleveland Metroparks.

I have to say, my attitude is back where I want it. When it began to rain midway through, I repeated this verse. When the climb out of the valley got tough, I repeated this verse. When I arrived home to see my running shoes waiting for the brick portion, I repeated this verse. When I finished my workout I repeated this verse.

"Today I become an Ironman".

What I do today is what matters most.

I did get a mini finish line celebration as I finished. E-Speed and E-Husband were headed to Tommy's for some dinner and saw me finish. E called out my name. Boy was I relieved to see someone that appreciates 7 hrs of sweat and grime. She is also one of those folks that I am glad to see every time I do.
So thanks Elizabeth for the finish line celebration. Today I became an Ironman.

I hit a low point in my training

Last week was a low point for me during my Ironman training. I found myself to be a bit depressed and disappointed by what went on in Morgantown. It didn't bother me that the race went slower then planned. All in all it was not a bad effort. The swim was into a current. It was going to be a bit slow. I am OK with that. The bike was 50 seconds slower then last year. It rained this year. I slowed for safety. The run went well till my stomach turned. Oops, it happens.

What caused concern was my poor attitude on the bike. I haven't experienced this during a race. I really didn't care about the race. I would look at my computer and think "15 miles?! Crap! When will this nonsense be over?. What is the point?". When I crossed the finish line I threw my hands up in defeat, rolled my eyes and smiled for the camera. I was happy to be done, but I was not happy.

The following week was spent exploring these feelings that continued. I took the time to recover from the race. I went out for a few beers Tuesday. I tried to go easy during workouts. My hope was that I was just tired.

July 4th came and my friend M and I went to a party along the lake. During this party, I had a few random conversations that seemed to ask the right questions.

The next morning I had coffee with another friend that really got my mind excited about future goals and my ability to achieve them. I recognized very clearly what I wanted to do as a recording engineer. I could see exactly what path to follow to realize these dreams.

As I began my workouts through the weekend I realized that my training had more energy and passion. I was caught in the excitement of organizing my thoughts. My lack of drive seemed to return as my sense of purpose became clear, not just as a triathlete, but as a human.

Ironman is no longer a goal. I have become an Ironman. Ironman is now a reflection of the kind of person that I am. I am capable of accomplishing great things. I do this race not to prove my worth. I do this race to remind myself of what it takes to achieve my dreams.

I have outlined my July training schedule. It is going to be tough, but I am focused. I am hungry and I want to train. Louisville may be my last full Ironman. I want to savor these next two months.

Next up, STEELHEAD!.

Spirit of Morgantown race report

Following the service for Patrick Saturday, we loaded the car and headed for Morgantown. I rode down with Brendon, AJ, and Ericson. All three are in their early 20's and all are very gifted and dedicated athletes. The ride was a lot of fun.
We got into town around 5:30, grabbed our race packets, racked the bikes and joined the CTC party for dinner. CTC is one of the rare groups where I genuinely like and admire everybody. I may disagree with some of them from time to time, But I still consider them all good and fun folk.
Needless to say, We had fun. After dinner we headed to the hotel and got some rest.

Race morning we headed down to the race site and joined the transition pre-race festivities of pumping tires, body marking and last minute repairs. USAT watches this race closely as it is a national qualifier. The officials had picked my bike out as a possible bar end violation with my aero bars. I duct taped pennies on and was ready to race.

We had so many Clevelander's present. My rack alone included Rob Reddy, Jack Carney, and John Telich. It was a very social affair.

After waiting for the first few waves start, I entered the water, The first thing I noticed was a reasonably strong current that was pulling us all forward. This made for a slow swim. For me it was very slow. 44 minutes. This is getting annoying. My pool work outs have been much stronger then my race results.

After exiting the water I stripped off the wet suit quickly and ran the 1/4 mile back to T1. Transition took :05 including the run and strip. I was happy as I it felt very smooth.

The bike began poorly. I was not mentally in a good spot. I was working hard, but I was questioning my self and my desire far more then I like to. The first loop also included some heavy rain at times. Most of the first loop I spent monitoring Jack as he was gaining ground on me. We are closely matched, so he is a good race target for me. By the end of the first loop I looked back and saw Jack within 50 yards. I tried to use this as motivation. Part of me wanted to slow down and ride with him. But this was a race, so race I would try.
As we headed over the bridge out of town a car pulled in front of me to escape the backed up race congestion.
I yelled "YO!YO!YO!".
The driver acknowledged my presence and I shot around him cursing to myself. My anger provoked a much more focused second loop. I dropped Jack and was out on my own saying hello to Jack and JT after the turn arounds. My bike split was 3:08.52. With the rain, hairpin turns, and poor surface, I am satisfied. Mostly I was happy to regain my focus. Next time I need to do this with out a negative trigger.
T2 went by quickly. I washed my feet of the debris from the rain and got going.
Results don't show T2 time.
The run began well. I went out at about a :09 minute pace and held it till devils hill. I was a bit smiley and was having fun with all the CTCers on the course. At devils hill I bopped up the first section and pushed my self past the second.
After passing through the campus I took a couple salt tabs. I had not been drinking anything but water and taking in gel. HFP is serving HEED. I don't like it. So I tried to compensate.
The next 6 miles were ugly. I watched my group start to pull ahead as my stomach went bad. At mile 10 I went into a walk run. Jack passed me by. Now the chore was to cross the finish line. If I could do it with out a personal worst I would be happy.
In 6hrs25minutes and :03 seconds I got across the finish having run most of the final mile.
Goal two accomplished.
The rain was beyond my control. Nutrition I should have taken better control of. My plan was to rely on what was provided on course. I should now remember that HFP serves Hammer products. I don't like Heed. The remainder of my races are WTC events.Powerbar/gel and Gatorade. That works for me. except the non vegan bar. I will carry and leave Cliff and Lara bars in my special needs bag.

My biggest concern during this race was the "I don't care" attitude that lasted through 25 bike miles. If this feeling had hit me on the run, I might have just walked off the course. I have a lot to figure out this month. I can not take this attitude into Ironman.

CTC as a group took home a ton of hardware. Congrats to you all.
I took home a hard lesson. Don't screw with race day nutrition and get your head in the game.

I had one of those moments early this week when I considered giving up and going back to the way things were. I hit a bump in the road that had me feeling completely hopeless. I worried that I was just not cut out for this.

Well, I some how have developed this odd persistence. It being a taper week, I have had extra time to address the issue and try to grow. It is not always easy. Change is difficult. I have to sometimes really stretch beyond my perception and just be open and willing. As I continue moving forward, good things happen.

Well after a few days really examining the issue and trusting my instincts, I have resolved the problem. Every thing works and I am still enthusiastic about the project.

I am talking about the switch to linux.

My system runs with amazing efficientsy. I love the desktop environment. Any software I want is available for free with no strings attached. The potential is amazing. Linux will link the 3rd world to the Internet. Linux will do this commercial free. Linux is and a techo-op.

I am dedicated to learning how to run Linux with confidence. Some drivers require research. Some time to a very frustrating degree. Ultimately the user groups are amazing in shared knowledge.

I get this also in the tri community. Zac had a problem with the bus, so he can't go. I called some neighbors, and they came through. I got a room nearby. I am excited to race. Morgantown is packed with CTC members.

We are saying goodbye to Patrick Saturday. I am playing "Into the Mystic". I am nervous. I will be with people that care about me.

In all the things I do I draw strength from others. Tips, applause, or the exhausted thumbs up from a fellow athlete at the end of the run. These things keep me going in life. I am who I am because of who we are.

Thank You.

Ironyman on healthcare

I am a bike commuter. It is my preferred mode of transportation. Currently the city of Cleveland is making the leap towards providing options for people like my self. From east 89^th to Cleveland State along Euclid Avenue a new pair of bike lanes have been created as part of the new Euclid Corridor project. Once the project is complete I will have my own lane from University Circle to Playhouse Square.

I only hope I live to see it.

Right now the project construction that continues, along with the never ending additions to the Cleveland Clinic and University Hospitals has created a barricade between the comfortable riding of the heights and the new bike lane. Everyday as I descend the hills and make my way past these two world class health care facilities, I pray that I will make it a mile and a half past the high volume of construction, shuttles, EMS, and thousands of cars ferrying overworked health care professionals and receivers. I assume many are on drugs and/or are under heavy stress as they work through health related issues. The preoccupation of thoughts amongst the drivers who the share road with me must be great.

As I am under insured, neither of these institutions is accessible to me. So aside from employing much of the population around me, I don't feel as though I am directly benefiting from the constant growth of these hospitals. I know they both are global leaders in healthcare, but locally I consider them to be the source of my greatest health concerns. I fear for my life every time I travel past these two medical giants.

Once I progress westward on Euclid into the crime and poverty of midtown, I am able to relax and enjoy a carefree ride to work.

A week from now I will be racing in Morgantown WV. I am doing the 70.3 distance. I will taper this week.

Finding focus.

Watching the US Open(Follow the link for story of the tourney), I was mesmerized by the absolute focus of Tiger Woods. I was rooting for Rocco, but I was in awe of Tiger.

During todays playoff, I turned to a friend and said of Rocco,"I hope he is enjoying every second of this."

Some how I need to find both properties in my training. As the work becomes more and more intense, having fun while remaining focused becomes a major challenge.

I see myself becoming very protective about time commitments. I get cranky when demands are made on my schedule. If I have to train, I find it difficult to enjoy other activities. That is accept all of the workout procrastinations I can come up with...(Blogging).

With the improved weather, the joy of training is returning. No more trainer. No more tights. No more indoor pool. The weather has been great for a few weeks(I want high heat).Training is fun when it is sunny.

Saturday I went long solo on the bike. These days are tough, but I truly believe in the solitude to build mental toughness. Ironman is a long day. Drafting is illegal.
Midway through the ride I ran into Bbop down in the Cuyahoga Valley. We rode for a bit. That was nice. The change of course also awarded me more climbing. This I need. I am sucking on hills this year.

The Open Mic has been amazing. Cleveland has so much great talent. Our lineup has filled every week. The audiances have responded well. The Phoenix staff is very sopportive of both the Open Mic and myself.

This is all where I want to be. I am enjoying every second of it. I am also becoming focused.

It is time to become an Ironman.

Up to Buffalo

I don't know if it will be the Sunday cup of coffee before or after a work out, or the subtle jabs at Browns fans that I will miss the most. Something always seems a little uneasy when a broadcaster has died while still broadcasting.

The thoughts I have regarding the death of Tim Russert go beyond the unexpected loss of someone that has become a common part of our life through radio or television. It has transcended the fear I have of the eventuality of loosing my own hero and favorite broadcaster. Tim Russert's death is a little different.

I have always believed that the media is the fourth branch of government here in the USA. The media is responsible for communicating the actions of our leaders with out bias. Very few have done a better job of clarifying the truth then Tim Russert. The man wouldn't accept non answers. I think we have lost a huge part of the election process. In my mind we have lost one of the most important Americans of our time.

Deer Creek race report

Double fisted was the best race plan of the day. I knew going into this weekend that it would be a hot one. Having gone though such a cool spring, I wasn't sure how well I would deal with it on the Deer Creek course. With the big goal being Louisville, heat will be an issue.


We left Cleveland in Zacs bus late Saturday afternoon. He has the VW looking good and running very well. The addition of a bike and rack make it really shine. We arrived at Deer Creek close to 9pm. We grabed a tent site about a mile from the course. It was privately owned and about a third of the cost of the State park.

The creek near our camp was very high. The area was enduring some flooding. This fact was sure to influence the race. We set up camp and had some food. Nicole is running a raw cafe within a Lakewood wellness center now. She is experimenting with lots of good food. Zac got a bag of chips. They were also quite tasty. At about 11pm I slept.

We woke at 5:50am. First me, then Max, then Zac, then Nicole brought up the rear. We rolled up to the park soon after. I grabbed my packet, set up transition, chatted and just enjoyed the pre race happenings. I met Mary Sunshine from the IMKY blog. She grabbed some AG hardware. Congrats!

Nicole went down to the water with me. We didn't have to go far, as the lake was a bit bloated. The beach of 30yrds from last fall was non existent.

I swam a bit and waited for the waves to go off. The race began 16 minutes late and was delayed after a swimmer had to be rescued. The swimmer was OK.

My wave went at 8:35. Immediately I was hit with a side stitch. Maybe it was the hammer I took before the start. Maybe the Gatorade. or maybe my water had been spiked with heed. What ever the intestinal distress was became unimportant as I began to take repeated blows to the head. I became a little defencive in establishing my space. My wet suit was tight on the left side. I was never comfortable. I also swam a little cooked as we were hit by a strong current of flood water headed to the dam.
My swim was :31. I expect better.

Once I hit T1 I got caught in a five minute comedy routine as I tried to remove my wet suit from over my calves.Body Glide is good stuff, but nothing beats a CFC hose down with a can of PAM.

Once on the bike, I went aero for 23 and 1/3 miles. I worked hard. I took in nutrition as planned. I worked at remaining cool as I kept pouring water over my self. The heat was in the 90's, but I feel I managed it well. My bike was 1:18

Once I was in T2, I knew it was going to be hot. The shock of becoming still beneath the sun was noticeable. I was out quickly.

As I started the run, I took more heed(electrolyte replacement). I again felt the same cramp as I had during the swim. I only drank water following the heed test. I noticed the returning runners all looked spent and dizzy. I went at a 9 minute miles, and really took my time at aid stations.

The end result was not fast (2:55), but it was steady. My endurance is good. I need to find speed and clean up details like sighting in the water and removing the wet suit.

The weekend was a lot of fun and I am a bit red. I now know what I must work on.

A tough nut to crack

I am confident in saying, Nicole is hooked. She is acting like a runner. She is dressing like a runner. She is researching like a runner. She is planning for a race a year away.

We are thinking of heading west for the Big Sur marathon next spring. This works for me. Next year I would like to focus a bit more on the Marathon and ultra marathoning. I plan on triathlon mid summer, but no more then one 70.3.

The marathon has always been a tough nut to crack. My PR of 3:53 was not my best race. If I had been on that day, I would have gone 3:30. That was a 9 years ago. I want to run Boston one day.

The ultra marathon also totally intrigues me. I want to go there.

Currently, I have Deer Creek this weekend. I am feeling fit and focused. I plan to go hard the whole race. I want to go through transitions cleanly. I also am looking for improvement on the swim. It is a training day. My one concern is water temps. Lake Erie is still in the 50's.

Sorry for my recent absense around here. I have been a little distracted.

I want to race

I have been a bit busy lately. Everything is going well, there is just a lot of well going on.

My swimming is on lately. I can't wait for the out door pool to open. 14 hrs of lap swim a quarter of a mile from home. One more week.

My cycling was feeling really flat. I wasn't getting enough frequency in. This weekend I began to feel the rewards of my work. My fitness seems to be coming together.

Just in time. Deer Creek is on. I want to race.

I have added another race to the plan. Nicole, Zac and I are going to do a relay at Cleveland.
ZAC?!. Zac is gonna race. We have him on the bike before he hands off to Nicole for the run. I am the swimmer. Should be fun.

Life is great.

Lone wolf with a solitary focus

Training for your first Ironman is a monumental task. You devote all of your energy to the process. Mostly everybody around you understands and provides support. Good bosses, friends, family, spouses, children, pets, bills, chores, guitars all are neglected to a degree. Nobody does Ironman alone. The energy given by those around us is ultimately what gets us across the finish line.

Having just read Jodi's TTT race report I am impressed by the spirit of team work that race emphasizes. Congrats to those of you who took on this race.

Training for my second Ironman has a different set of challenges.I am accustomed to the workload. I am more creative with time management. I am able to enjoy many other things in life that I would have sacrificed last year.

Sometimes I worry that I am not training enough. Mostly I have confidence in my training.

With IMKY within 100 days I begin to feel the juggle of life taking on more bowling pins and chain saws. Mid June will include a wedding and a memorial service on consecutive weekends. The service is for my child hood Friend Patrick who has been missing for a few years. I plan to do Deer creek Oly, but may let it go for a chance at a long ride instead. I have the Open Mic, but other gigs will wait until taper time. I have been seeing some one for about three weeks. This has only been a positive so far and I have been more then willing to work my schedule around this new development. I am very fond of her.

Somehow I am actually living a normal life right now while training for Ironman. My minds focus is much more evenly distributed then it was last year. I am training with others more often. I am relaxing with others. I am no longer the lone wolf with a solitary focus.

As I include others into my life and open my heart once again, I find that the sacrifices I make in training to spend time with good people has given me focus once again on what is really important.
I think I know why the wolf howls at the moon.

Why do you'll bike so much?

This morning a whole bunch of multisport nuts headed out to Headlands State Park for a day of training on Lake Erie. The event was hosted by Mickey Rezmic, RD of the Greater Cleveland Triathlon.
I went out with the first group. All dudes. So of course every one was hammering away. About halfway thru the first loop Bbop had a mechanical problem. I hung back with him as the others rode away. I will let him tell you the details in an attempt to get him to post to his blog.
After some time I jumped back in as the group came around on the second loop.
Following the ride, Jack and I added 3.5 on the GCT run course.

The weather was great. Still cold in Cleveland, but sunny. If you are not aware, Cleveland feels as though it is on the north shore of Lake Erie. If the Canadian like temps continue, I am going to demand dual citizenship.

Any how, it was a nice day of training with some good folks.

Cat gave me a ride. As she dropped me off, a young teenager stopped to ask, "Why do you'll bike so much?".
My first instict was to look at the kid cross eyed as I proclaimed "because I have an Ironman to do!"
Well I thought better of this idea and just told him
"It's Freedom".
He shrugged and said "OK".

Ironman Lodging

Last August I sent an email to a farmer to secure my lodging for Ironman. When we arrived at Sherbourn Castle, we handed over 45 GBP for a week of camping. This worked just fine. It was fun, and it was a unique Ironman experience. The major expense was airfare to London.

This year, I have fewer travel costs, so I thought I would splurge on my accommodations for Ironman. I just booked three nights at the host hotel, The Galt House. It has free WI FI and a swell pool.

As the financial investment mounts, I figure I should mount my bike a little more often. Saturday I will be doing the GCT training.

Rite Aid Cleveland Half Marathon Recap

The weather was identical to the '06 edition of this race. I rode down with my neighbors Brendon( Doing IM Lake Placid soon) and AJ (Took 13th overall in the 1/2). The rain was heavy at times, but no body seemed to concerned. Along the way we saw a few Cleveland Police and an SUV that had been riddled with bullets.

Once we arrived I saw JT Tri guy and began searching for Zac and Nichole. The crowd was good and the line for the morning chore moved quickly. We lined up near the rear and waited.For some unknown, the race started late. With the rain, this kind of sucked. Once we got going the rain was a non issue.



For most part I ran steady and moved through the crowd. I remained focused most of the way so I have little to report. I finished in 1:53.53. Following the race I chatted with Jack and JT.

Nicole did great and is now a marathoner. We had Indian food for lunch.

Following the race I went to watch another game 7 vs Boston on a marathon day. Same result. Arggggg.

All in all it was a good day.

Mind the gap

" Mind the gap" was the message coming from the womens voice over the public address system aboard the London underground. Zac grabbed the front end of the case that held my bike while I took hold of the other. We lifted the case from the train and proceeded toward the stairs leading to the street level.

As we passed others, some would stop and wonder what it was we were carrying. Most would just try to navigate around our over abundance of baggage. Nicole and Zac made it possible for me to move through the UK with so much luggage. Without them, I may still be trying to get off of that subway car.

Since I have known my good freinds, they have always been willing to help me with my baggage. Their support has not only enabled me to move along with so much baggage, but it has also aided me in shedding much of what I did not need. Freinds like these two are rare. I value them greatly in my life.

As I began readying myself for the GCT 1/2 iron distance back in '05, I asked Nicole if she would train for a marathon with me. She gave it a shot, but was not really into it. I never buged her about it again.

After returning from the UK, nicole told me she had been running since our trip and wanted to try a 1/2 marathon. The Ironman finish line has an amazing effect on spectators. As you cheer, you can't help but to visualize your own finish. She had been inspired.

Following her 1/2 in Columbus, she was hooked. The marathon goal was now in focus. We mulled over the race choices and settled on Cleveland. Over the past three months, she followed the plan we put together. Sunday she will step to start of the Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon.

I am very excited for her. Marathons are not easy, but she is ready.
Go Nichole!

I will be running the half. I hope to match my time from last year. I will not be dissapointed if I don't. I know I have trained well. I have taken a very easy week and should feel fresh and healthy. Most importantly I will be ready to start the next stage of my IM training.

If you have a moment.....

Well, that moment is gone now. But as long as I have your attention.........,Life is changing around me. I am not sure that I am changing with it. I keep doing what I am doing and good things just start happening.

When I began this current phase in my life four years ago, I was a beaten man. Who I was, had come to an ending. My hopes and dreams had been resolved in a not so happy way. Some of the things I had to accept were difficult. My life changed abruptly. I got a bit disoriented before regaining focus enough to move forward.

My forward motion was motivated mostly by the Ironman dream. Having become disillusioned by romance, politics, and the recording business I needed something to work towards. Ironman gave me this. I had my friends and family, Ironman gave me a mission.

Having finished my first race of 140.2 miles, my mission was complete. The moment at the finish line had passed. Not knowing what to do next, I just kept on with what I was doing. I signed up for IMKY and Steelhead.

I am not sure whether I race to train or train to race. The moment at a finish line is often unforgettable, but the memories acquired throughout my training will always be with me and serve me well. Finish chutes are places of great celebration. Training day in and day out is living. On completion of a long race, you receive a medal, some food, and a smile that won't quit. While training I quietly grow in every moment closer and closer to the becoming the me as I see myself . A me I am proud of. Not for my accomplishments, but for my discipline and dedication in becoming not only an Ironman, but becoming a good man.

Somehow overtime the things I had lost became unimportant. New opportunities arise and I am able to give those things my attention. The present is what is important now. I just keep doing what I am doing, and I seem to find inner happiness.

Moments come and go. Each one is important. We can't dwell on the moments past or wait on new ones to come and expect to enjoy the present one. These are moments lost. So, if you have a moment, pay attention to it.

Open Mic recap

I am a little slow with this post. I had a good brick workout yesterday before joining the gang across the street on Panini's patio for a poorly played basketball game. Fortunately for me, I had my attention turned toward the 8th inning for the three run homer off the Yankees. As for the CAVS Celtic series, Lebron, Pierce, and Ray Allen all sucked. I don't think the series has begun. Boston just happened to have the lead at the right time to start the series tomorrow with a head start of one game.

Anyhow, I am actually posting about the Open mic this past Monday.

I live a block from the phoenix, so I just carried my PA to the cafe and set up. After getting the stage set, I put out the sign up sheet along with a list of guidelines for the performers to remember. The list filled quickly. I had to create an overflow list for additional performers. At 8:00, I sauntered up to the stage, picked up my guitar, introduced myself and began singing my song "Who here will lead us". At that point, I felt I had the focused attention of the room. I was now ready to turn the stage over to the next performer.

We had a good mix of seasoned pros and newcomers to art. Everyone was so nice and respectful of each others music. The audience was really cool. It was the first time I have seen the coffee shop filled with people that were not staring at laptops. Every one seemed to have a good time. I expect similar responses in the future.

For me the best part of the evening went against my rules for myself. My number one rule as an open mic host is, "It is not about me". My goal is to create an event that allows others to shine. I will give everything to my own performance, but my priority is to the other players and the audience. If this goal is met, we have a successful evening. I mostly lived by this rule Monday. however, I had so much fun and felt my self returning to normal. I was doing, what I do best. I felt whole once again. I didn't bother anyone else with how much self gratification I was taking from the evening, but I very much enjoyed what I was doing. I needed this back in my life as much as any one. At least for one show, It was about me.

The Phoenix was happy. Number goals were met. They are a good bunch of folks at the cafe. This is the ultimate key to success. The support was awesome. Two staffers performed. They really helped in creating excitement.

So we are set for a show every Monday. The women Felisha that has been asigned the roll of Phoenix point person for Open Mic said she will prepare vegan treats for Monday nights. So very cool.

See ya Monday.

A major step.

Recently I have left the confines of Microsoft for the user controlled world of Linux.At first I was concerned that I was going to be limited by incompatibility issues with windows software. I have found things to be quite the opposite. Linux has a windows software emulator called wine. I have yet to use it as the open source software seems to work much better. My hardware is working much faster. I no longer view the Internet as an unrelenting advertising portal into my brain. My move toward Linux has been huge step . My perception has changed. I have been released from the mental restrictions that plagued me as a windows user.

These sifts in my growth are exciting. Big ones include my choice to go vegan, Ironman, living car free, Buddhism, and my first marathon. Each of these things has completely changed my perception of the world and myself. My path to personal freedom is marked by these moments that I let go of the limitations I had imposed on myself.
Ten years ago today I took two of my biggest steps toward becoming the person I hope to be. these steps were near East 22nd and Euclid in front of CSU.
The first of these two steps was toward the west as I crossed the starting line of the CVS Cleveland Marathon. This step symbolized my belief that I could run 26.2 miles. I had stuck to a training plan and was on my way. The race was not easy. The first two miles my calves felt as though they would explode. By mile 16 my quads were screaming. Getting through the final 6.2 miles was as difficult a personal struggle as I have ever known.
My family was ever present on the course. They were decked out in t shirts that said "Run Charlie Run" my sister Nancy and niece Morgan had made. My brother delivered a cliff bar to me out in Lakewood as he peddled along side of me. My sister Susie drove to the race with me and helped me calm my nerves. My Parents awaited my finish with cameras and hugs. I cried after I finished. Finishing things had been an issue for me, so this was a huge deal. I was fundamentally changed. I was a marathoner. I often remind myself of this when self doubt arises. Finishing was my second major step that day.
The days that followed were painful. The marathon beats you up. But since then, I have grown stronger and stronger.

Part of me really wants to run the full 26.2 in Cleveland in two weeks. I am trained for it. But common sense tells me to train through for Ironman. So I am content to race the half and wait for Nichole to finish her first full. Being a part of her progression as a runner means more to me then anything I could accomplish on the course at this time.

I have run 8 marathons since this day ten years ago, but none have meant as much as the first. Over the last three springs I have helped Sheila, Dane, and now Nichole with the marathon training. This has helped me to enjoy a first marathon spring after spring.

Today the things that seem most important, are no longer just about me. Knowing that together we can accomplish great things has become a much more important theme than my personal accomplishments. Sharing our knowledge and enthusiasm gets us all a little bit further.

Consistency

My empathy for the Washington Wizards fan is strong. As the Cavs finished out the series, I thought of Jordan and Elway. It sucks when you think your team is pretty good and you can't get past a legend. One day they will come to appreciate the player Lebron James is. I found this peace with MJ. Elway I have not.

It was nice to see the trade pan out the way I originally envisioned. With Sasha returning, the two spot is deep. The concern for me is consistency. The Cavs continue to get that from only one.

Consistency has been a greater struggle for me this year. The cold I got last week has been hanging on. It hit like a ton of bricks and has been as annoying as the aforementioned basketball series. I think it is almost gone, but I expect to wake again with a chest and head full of gunk. I would like to spend a four hours on the bike, but if the weather sucks, it is back to the trainer. last week I totaled 9 miles on the run, while this week I will top 30. Swimming has been work. I need to swim out side. My stroke is clicking. I am getting faster, but I want to swim out side.

I have a new work schedule. 7-3 Monday through Friday. This is perfect for my summer training. I tend to do a lot of back to back sessions with 1/2 hour breaks. this gives me 6 hrs to work with. I really like the consistency. It also makes getting a workout in before a gig a lot easier. I do not like to feel rushed. My race times reflect this issue.

I am really starting to get focused on Ironman. My attention is pointed in the direction of Louisville. Every choice I am making is beginning to reflect this. I have not had a drink since opening day. And that was just a shot.....at 11am. I have also suspended actively seeking romance. I don't have time right now. I am OK with this. I am now chasing a man...IRONMAN.

Saturday is the tenth anniversary of my first marathon. I will post tomorrow on my memories of this major step in my life.

Back to consistency, Cliff Lee is one of the best sports stories going on right now.

Anyhow, time to be consistent. I have a lot on my plate. I have some things I have to do. I have big plans...

Go Cavs!

Final long run in the books

Yesterday I woke at 6:30 to meet Katy for the Tri swimming.The day was promising with good weather to run in. Swimming included 14x50x3. It was a good workout, but not to tough. It was a small crowd as the race season has begun. We all had coffee before Rob dropped me off in Lakewood.

Zac was busy putting the finishing touches on the bus. he is in the home stretch of a very long restoration project. It is looking good. I will post photo's once he has finished. Nichole was putting togeteher a feast to be enjoyed later. I grabbed a guitar and turned on the Cavs game. They used all 48 minutes to determine the outcome, but things worked out well for the Cavs.

Following the game, Nichole and I set off for our run. Three hours was the plan, first stop: Second Sole. We had just one GU. Unfortunately they closed before 5PM so we stopped the watch and ran into the supermarket, bought some cliff bars and headed into the Rocky river rez for some running. the weather was great. I am not fully recovered from my illness so I ran tired most of the way. I think we both were having tough days, but we stuck it out and finished a 8 minutes shy of our plan.

once we got back to the house, Nichole and I devoured some watermelon and kettle chips. We sat down to the cartoons on FOX and ate this feast that had been started hours earlier. Pasta, greens, asparagus, bread. It was awesome.
I got home at 10:30 and went to bed soon after.

With three weeks till Rite Aid, we are both healthy. I have every belief that Nichole will do great in her 26.2 mile debut. I am very confident about the half. I have no predictions this year. I just want a solid race.

I have almost completely moved over to linux. I am working from it right now. I love the concept of being free from windows. I mostly love the stability of the OS.
One week till the Open mic at the coventry Phoenix starts. See you all soon.

I left the window open and something flu in...e'chooo!

If you follow my training log at all, you may have noticed that I have been logging "0" workouts since the 5k. This is due to the bug I came down with.
Sunday I hit the couch and dozed into extra innings. Monday I took the evening off feeling some congestion. I watched Napoleon Dynamite. I saw LBJ and Cavs remind the Wizards who it was that won the east last season. I struggled to sleep. Went to work at 7am. Came home at 10am. I then slept.

For what ever reason, races always leave me open to sickness. The good part is that I have a recovery week right now, so I am not really(just a little)stressed about loosing workouts.
Today I felt better. Not 100%, but I went to work, rode to the pool, swam 1600 easy, rode a mile, chain broke, caught a bus. I am satisfied.

I have been enjoying the NBA playoffs so far. If by chances the next round is Cavs/Celtics, I apologies in advance for all the obnoxious things I may say about a town a drool over the thought of running in. Speaking of that run, congrats to Daisy, E speed, and Katy. Sounds like they all had a blast.

Being sick is weird. It is not fun to work through. But once in a while it is nice to grab a pillow, a roll of tissue, a comforter, a DVD or two, and just rest up. I like the healing process.

My computer guy has been setting up a linux platform for me. It still has some bugs to work out, but he is loving the challenge.Using it makes windows seem like a really bad prank. It actuall seems much cooler then mac. According to my tech genius linux is not at any threat from virus's. It just refuses to run the programs.
As I sit here and sniffle, I wish I could just choose not to run a virus. I wish I was as well protected as linux. But after a race, my firewall are down. I get sick.

City 2 City 5k recap

Nicole and I decided Friday to do this race. The schedule called for a 5k today. My early plan was to ride down, but it was raining and I didn't want to stand around for an hour in wet cloths ,so I took the train into tower city for registration. Nichole and Zac began the day by changing a tire.

The entry was $20. Kinda' steep for a 5k but the charity was a shelter for battered women and children, so I knew we would be getting more out of it then a tshirt and banana. I hope they were able to provide funding after expenses.

The field was sparse compared with other races I have done recently. I was scouting the crowd to evaluate the competition. This is not easy any more. My age group seems aged as randomly as any and running doesn't mark calves. I shared the idea that awards could be had with a good effort. I hoped to provoke Nichole's competitiveness.
We headed up to Huron Rd to warm up and toe the line...well my toe is never near any line, but I am sure you get the drift.
"Ding, ding,ding!!!" the race bell sounded (I am glad the bell has replaced the gun). I was immediately stalled by joggers so I did my best Barry Sanders impression with some nice lateral moves until I found open field.
Hermes race systems seems to have a deal with Tower City this year, so the start and finish are Identical to the Chilli Bowl course. The Mid section goes deeper into Ohio city as it passes by Johnny Mango's
My first mile was 7:55. The bridge kind of kicks you in the bum so I hoped I could make up time in OC. At Mile 2 I was at 16.01 The course was an out and back so mile 3 returns back over the bridge. I worked hard to catch runners ahead of me, but I ran out of race before I could over take them. Final time was 24:50 for an average of 7:59. Not blazing fast, but steady. Goal achieved.

• This race was a nice little event. Hermes does a good job.
  
• This course is tough. I do not run it fast.

• Nichole had a nice race. This was her first 5k.

• The Female 35-39 age group had a 17 second differential between 1st and 4th place.

I took the train home and have decided to rest the remainder of the day.
Speaking of taking a train to a race, E Speed, Daisy Duc, and Katy(She picks me up for the Oberlin workouts every other Sunday, and is doing IMKY) have taken a train to Boston for a race tomorrow. I think I heard it was a marathon. Good luck and Have fun....
Someday I would like to run Boston. If I can hold those eight minute miles for 26, I will be in good shape......When I am 45.

Open Mic

When I moved to Madison in 1988, my goals were folk music. I went there with intention to hone my skills as a player, performer, and writer. I had developed a plan and followed it as I do my triathlon training plans. I would practice a minimum of one hour daily. I had to write one complete song a week. I had to learn one new song a week and I had to go to the local Open Mic, held at the Rathskeller on the UW campus. The weekly open mic would always keep me on task, just as an up coming race does. This was where I found out what worked and what didn't. This is the place I got over my stage fright and became a performer.

In '89 I returned to Cleveland. I resumed my work at the Coventry Arabica as a Batista. I had left that job a couple of years earlier after the Cafe had been sold and the new manager persisted in trying to get me to sleep with him. He was now gone and the owner was glad to have me back. He sometimes would ask us for our input on ways to increase business. I suggested starting an Open Mic. He thought it a good idea and put me in charge.

Over the next 16 years this became my life. Every Monday I would set up my sound system and introduce the next act. I took the job very seriously as I saw it not only as a vehicle for promoting my own music, but more importantly I saw maintaining the open mic programs around Cleveland as a major responsibility as the custodian for the forum so many of our best musicians would use to develop their own set of skills.

My Open Mics gained a lot of credibility quickly for having good audiences,musicians, and for treating every performer equally. It was common place for some of the biggest acts in town to drop in for a set. The audience had grown accustom to seeing unknowns become very well known. Once in a while the major record company would bring in acts. Jewel and Sean Lennon were two of those acts. Best of all I was able to create a venue for MANY first time performers. I was put in a position where I was able to help a lot of amazingly talented musicians to develop their own skills. This was my calling, and I was able to answer it. I have always thought myself very lucky to have held this position.

In 2001 the Arabica closed. I continued to host shows for the next three years, but businesses would come and go. Stability was fleeting. My final open mic was at the Lee Rd Arabica. After they closed I decided to not take on a new show until the conditions were right for long term success.

Well.....Conditions have become right. I have just settled the details to begin hosting a new Open mic at the Phoenix on Coventry. We will start with the first weekly show Monday May 5^th.

I am so freaking excited. This is my element. This is where I shine. So come on out with a guitar, voice, flute, or your ears. Monday nights on Coventry will be alive with song once again.

Forsythia Means spring!

I am driven by emotion. Emotion is what helps me to run 26.2 miles. My logical side enables me to train for a marathon, but emotion gets me to the finish line. The marathon is beyond logic. Why in the world would you do that to yourself. Emotion is the only explanation I can come to. Logic however tells me that I must reach a level of fitness to be able to meet the demands of my emotion.

Music is much the same. Without an understanding of music theory, music is left to just wander without direction. Music depends on a set of rules just as math, science, and language do. Yet music performed without emotion, seems to loose its musicality.

Much of my base training has been logical in its motivation lately. Honestly, I have had little desire this past winter to train. I do not love the trainer rides. Commuting to and fro the pool by bus kinda sucks in the cold, and running in the winter is really nice during November and December, but after New Years it becomes a real chore.

Today I headed out for an hour around University Circle. My goal was speed work in the form of intervals. I knew what I needed to do in my head, but pushing myself was going to be a chore of the heart. My plan was to play chase with other runners.

The game works like this: Spot another runner and e catch them. Preferably they have at least a 100 yd lead over you. The Case campus is a good spot for this workout because it has so many fit runners to choose from.

Within five minutes, I had a runner to stalk. He was young and seemed to run well. I began my chase. Once I was with in 25 yds, the prey had become aware of my pusuit. He began to increase his effort to match mine for a mile and a half. I was within ten yards at the bottom of Mayfield hill when he made his turn off my course. We had both pushed each other really hard. I spotted and overtook a few others along the way, but none gave me the same effort as my first chase.

While running I took notice of the brilliant skyline that circles Wade Oval. I took notice of the forsythia as it bursts into spring. I enjoyed the sun light and moderate temperatures. The music mostly helped me to maintain my cadence.

My mind during a run is constantly racing back and forth between logic and emotion. I constantly run a system scan over my whole body. But to continue my Stearn focus, I need the fuel of my emotions.

A sure sign of spring is when I get home and I am excited to head out for my run. Logic has helped me to build a solid base. With spring, I can just enjoy my training. I can revel in the beauty of spring. I am joined by so many more runners and wildlife. My head spins with joy as I run purely for the love of running.

Logic and emotion are the basis for so much in my life. My mind is often working through both. But some how as I relax following my run, my sense of logic and flow of emotion seems to subside. I am no longer processing the thoughts in my mind. I have no problems to solve and I am driven by nothing. At the moment I conclude my run I am at total peace.

Side note: As I finished writing this post, A group of high school seniors came into the coffee shop and requested that everybody stand up and hold hands for a photo. Every body did. At least 30 people that haven't looked past their laptop screens in over an hour stood together hand in hand. This was a moment of inclusiveness that does not happen often in the 21^st century cafe'. It was refreshing.

What will we leave behind?

It has been about ten years since I first embraced the Internet and the personal computer. I had dabbled with the technology before this, but it was still to buggy for me. What I wanted to do with the new world of technology was still a little out of reach. Inevitably I would put a demand on the software I was using and it would crash. Many hours were spent learning the importance of saving your work. If I was on the early internet, I would spend many hours waiting for a page to load. Once it appeared it was fairly limited in useful information. My imagination saw a future for these tools, but as a musician I needed them to be further developed.

The late nineties brought faster machines. Jen and I had a P3 that I recently retired. I began using it for music production. Mostly post production work as the software and memory was still to slow for my demands in multi track recording. I had the most success using SoundForge for post editing and "mastering" my mixes from my multi track recorder.

The internet, once used only for email distribution of upcoming shows became relevant in a much bolder way. In 1999 I found a site called mp3.com. This site enabled me to create a true web presence. I was able to offer music to listeners around the world. I was able to create on demand CD distribution. I had a place to offer information on my upcoming shows. I was finally able to bypass the record companies and move forward with my music. MP3.com paid us for the downloads and the musicians promoted the site. As independent musicians we were very enthusiastic about what mp3.com offered and worked hard for it. We were well paid and the future was exciting.

MP3.com was pioneering the way music would be distributed. They were taking the industry into the future with unabashed ambition. Ultimatly the recording industry (RIAA) filed lawsuits to prevent mp3.com from offering online personal music storage. This and the old Napster lawsuits filed by the RIAA began defining how music could legally be distributed online. MP3.com lost the lawsuits and were ultimately bought and shut down by NBC/Universal. The artists were all offered CNET space. No website since has offered as good an opportunity to indie musicians.

Since that time I have used many music hosting sites. Myspace has the biggest visiter community. CreateSpace offers the best on demand CD pressing. Integrating the two has been completely up to me. Offering an online music player in my integrated website forces me to use another site. To offer unlimited free downloads, I have had to create that from scratch using html. As a result, my desire to make and distribute music has taken my skill set from musician to web designer. Today my folk music world is here on the internet.

Folk Arts are defined by some, as a mediums that originate amongst the common people of a region and passed through the people.

What we were doing ten years ago on mp3.com was a new kind of folk art. We were sharing our music around a campfire called the Internet in a region called the the world wide web. This style of sharing, is of course not limited to just music. We all find ourselves participating in the world of blogging. We are sharing our lives and stories. We are creating an account of world history unlike any the world has ever known. The folk tradition is alive here in the bloggasphere. Our stories are being told. Some true, some exaggerations, some are pure lies. But it is all being accounted for.

Centuries from now our lives will be remembered in greater definition then was available ten years ago. Our decedents will be able to get to know us in very intimate ways. As bloggers we are recording history. Every little detail of our lives will be relevant in future attempts to see and understand who we were as a world in 2008. If humanity survives into the next millennium, it will be our stories that will help future generations to understand why they live the way they do.

I do not believe our human future will be an earthly one. I honestly think if we are to continue at our current growth, that we can not do it here any longer. Earth will be home to some for agriculture, but we most likely will have to expand our world into space. What we write here in blog land may be some of the last accounts of what life was like when so many lived here on earth.

I hope we can leave more then a digital memory.

Are we really free?

I finally put up a page for free downloads. The music is from the Beachland Show Feb. 10th. So feel free, download and share. The page is mine. It is not MySpace or another site that wants your personal info. Just free music.

I have been avoiding my TV, as I have been enjoying Southpark, King of the Hill, and TED.COM.
My favotite cartoons are now available on demand through their own web sites. TED.COM is this awesome site I found on Jasper Blakes blog.The site is filled with speeches by some amazing human beings. And it is free!

Here is a video by one of my major personal heros.
"And the eyes of the world are watching now". From his song Biko written back in 1977.
I think it amazing that he has found a way to give the world eyes to monitor injustice. His plan seeks freedom for all.

I live my life relatively free. I have few obstacles that I can not see beyond. My mind enjoys a greater peace then it ever has before. Yet peace and freedom are so fragile.
Sing for freedom.

On the Road Again

It has been a while since I last posted. I was having Vista issues. It seems that as nice as microsofts new OS looks, it is riddled with issues. I ran into one last week and spent most of my time doing research in to the why and how to fix it the bug. I still have not found a solution that I expect from a company the size of Microsoft. I eventually tricked the OS into a repair. IE7 still will not dispaly and Google Earth depends on explorer. I am considering reverting to XP and setting up a secondary Linux OS.
To all you Mac enthusiast's that are thinking "You wouldn't have these issues if".... I would if I could pony up the dough.

Anyhow, winter is receding in Cleveberg. Today was ideal for a longer bike ride outdoors. It has been a while since I have spent more than 45 minutes on the road. It is nice to just be out doors. I decended. I climbed. I danced with traffic. I felt the wind without worrying about my electric bill. I rode into the Chagrin Valley by following my favorite route. After the ride i jumped off and added a 2 mile brick run.
These are my favorite workouts. This is when I can just takeoff and fly. Disappearing into the hills of northeast Ohio. Sometimes I run into a friend, but mostly it is just me and my bike. Getting away for an afternoon does wonders for my mind.

Ironyman moment

I got a traffic ticket yesterday.
Now I will bet you are thinking, "I thought you didn't drive?".
I don't. I wasn't even on my bike. I was crossing at the tail end of a red light in front of my apt. Half way across Coventry, the light turned green. I stuck with the base stealing code. I had already committed and was heading head first into second base. At second base waited a Cleveland Heights police officer ready to apply the tag. Jay Walking!!!$85. The cost of the fine can't justify fighting it and loosing a day of work. So, I must pay the man.
It must have been a slow night.