moving sideways

As I sat on the bus today I noticed that I was not moving forward. My body faced not the front of the bus, but the center of it. My view was not of the oncoming day. My view saw the city through the opposite window. My anticipation and remembrances lacked as all I could see was only what was passing by at that very moment. Moving forward or backwards was not an option to me. My seat was a bench that ran along the wall of the bus.

My sports and music are based on linear time. Songs and races have a start and a finish. Tempo is a common term within both worlds. When I get confused I can always return to the beat, to my breath, to the moment that I am in. I can focus directly on the note or footstep and let go of what I expect to happen next.The truth is that I never know what is going to happpen next. I can make assumptions based on experiance. Like a weather forcaster I can look at all of my data and try to predict what willl happen. But when a moment arrives it is unique and I have to adapt to it for what it is and not what I thought it would be. When my expectations are wrong I must adjust. This is where I have learned to move from side to side. I find other routes toward my goals by taking a very indirect path as if I were sailing into a wind. My tack is patient but determined. I can't alwaysfollow a path that may have worked for you. The only path that will work for me is the path that is available to me. Sometimes the best path available to me is in a direction I have never considered.

Often times forward is the obvious choice. Today as the brutal winds whipped across lake Erie and through the streets of Cleveland, backward worked well. As I rode my bus, I found that my path was sideways.

Without goals what do we have?

I have really enjoyed all the indoor training. Oddly I am finding benift rather then boredom on the tread mill. The belt keeps me on target when it is time to go fast. my mileage is starting to climb and I am remaining consistent with my strength training. The odd thing is that I really have no major goals this year.

Since I began writing this blog, I have always had a motivating race in the future. Ironman UK and Louisville were so big in my mind that I felt missing any training would jeopardies my chances of finishing those races.

During my training for UK I was always eager. I would stand at a bus stop in the worst weather with out any reservation to get my swim in. My training goals were always met and nothing was going to stop me.

For Louisville I trained with the knowledge of how hard Ironman can be. What I lacked in enthusiasm, I made up for in wisdom. I feared not being prepared.

This year I have vague race plans. Big Sur is a goal. However money has been tight of late, and it is not going to get better immediately. The uncertainty of the economy has me trying to play it safe. Nichole and I have talked about the flying pig as an alternative. I have not raced Cinci, so I look forward to either option. My triathlon plans are without any real structure. I know I would like to do two or three 70.3 distance races,. I need that shock to my system. The relaxed strength that long course builds is something I crave. I hope to do more short cousre racing this year, but ultimately I like to spend race day racing.

This year I have really embraced my training. I spend my days at work looking forward to getting to the gym. I feel so lucky to be able to start working out within 15 minutes if I hurry. Commuting seems to really zap my energy and passion. Since I began working out at CSU, My desire to train has been strong.

I have no idea what races I will race. What I do know is that I am enjoying every moment of my preparation for the coming season. What is motivating me is the joy of training. Each moment is special. With no end goal in sight, I am able to truly focus on the miracle. I am able to focus on the present and really embrace what life is.
Life is now.

Relaxed

I can now relax. I have had a long couple of days.
Sunday I was up at 6:30am for tri swimming. Following the swim workout I met up with Nichole for our first long run in our training plan. The air was warmer then it has been in a while, It made for a very pleasant run through the rocky river reservation. We really lucked out with the weather. 50 degrees. Hello February. January was so cold and snowy. The run went well.
BTW- I am moving most of the workout specific stuff to my training log in the side bar.
After the run I went to my folks place to watch football, eat and do battle with conflicting anti virus software in my dads PC....
Monday was a 4:30 am wake up, as I was subbing for Zac as the opener. After work I got some laundry done and packed up for open mic. as I threw my guitar on my shoulder the lights went down....."NO! I paid that bill!" I said before I noticed the silence. When I poked my head in the hallway I was reassured that it was a wide spread issue and had nothing to do with the fact that I can ignore first energy for a Looong time.
Any how, I headed up to the phoenix in the dark to figure out what we were going to do. Honestly I physically could have used the rest, but finances rule right now so I was relieved to see power return to the street. We had a good line up of musicians, but the crowd was slower then normal.
After the gig I retired quickly. I was in at 8 this morning, so I was better rested. After work I ran, lifted, and swam before coming home. About ten minutes ago I finished some promotions for my upcoming gig at AJ Roccos on Valentines day.
So now I sit, listen to some middle eastern music, and enter a little blog.
I am relaxing.