I hit a low point in my training

Last week was a low point for me during my Ironman training. I found myself to be a bit depressed and disappointed by what went on in Morgantown. It didn't bother me that the race went slower then planned. All in all it was not a bad effort. The swim was into a current. It was going to be a bit slow. I am OK with that. The bike was 50 seconds slower then last year. It rained this year. I slowed for safety. The run went well till my stomach turned. Oops, it happens.

What caused concern was my poor attitude on the bike. I haven't experienced this during a race. I really didn't care about the race. I would look at my computer and think "15 miles?! Crap! When will this nonsense be over?. What is the point?". When I crossed the finish line I threw my hands up in defeat, rolled my eyes and smiled for the camera. I was happy to be done, but I was not happy.

The following week was spent exploring these feelings that continued. I took the time to recover from the race. I went out for a few beers Tuesday. I tried to go easy during workouts. My hope was that I was just tired.

July 4th came and my friend M and I went to a party along the lake. During this party, I had a few random conversations that seemed to ask the right questions.

The next morning I had coffee with another friend that really got my mind excited about future goals and my ability to achieve them. I recognized very clearly what I wanted to do as a recording engineer. I could see exactly what path to follow to realize these dreams.

As I began my workouts through the weekend I realized that my training had more energy and passion. I was caught in the excitement of organizing my thoughts. My lack of drive seemed to return as my sense of purpose became clear, not just as a triathlete, but as a human.

Ironman is no longer a goal. I have become an Ironman. Ironman is now a reflection of the kind of person that I am. I am capable of accomplishing great things. I do this race not to prove my worth. I do this race to remind myself of what it takes to achieve my dreams.

I have outlined my July training schedule. It is going to be tough, but I am focused. I am hungry and I want to train. Louisville may be my last full Ironman. I want to savor these next two months.

Next up, STEELHEAD!.