What a long strange trip it 's been.

I will be finishing 2007 the way I have finished my first Ironman, with Zac and Nichole. This New years will be spent on Coventry amongst my favorite group of strangers....Or maybe the strangest group of favorites I know.....Well, those of you planning on a Jan.1st open water swim in Lake Erie, you all are a bit weird also.


Anyhow, thanks for being a big part of this past year. It has been one hellofa ride.

Happy New Year!

A Far Off Distant Shore

It is not everyday I am able to leave work early. With the slow week, it was not important for me to stay at work.

So with a free Thursday afternoon, I am doing some laundry and running job searches. I have been thinking I need a change, so search I will. I did come back toward food service in '04 as a transitional job.
In '03 and '04 I was working in a recording studio as an engineeer. I spent most of my hrs recording rap/americana/folk acts and doing remote sessions with classical and gospel musicians. I had just come out of school having lived on the deans list and doing a Production Internship with Telarc Int. The future seemed bright as I rocketed forward in my career as an audio engineer.

The studio I worked for was a very cool room with some very nice gear. The hours were erratic and pay was poor. Security was often a MAJOR concern for me as many of my sessions were very late at night. Some of the clients and their management/posse raised my concerns. One night while I worked with a group, the clients' friend's broke into and robbed the office. I was fortunate as they avoided robbing the actual studio where I was working. The thought of standing between the thieves and the high end recording gear still leaves me with strong reservations about returning to the industry.

I did stay on for about a month after that, but eventually was unable to justify the personal and professional sacrifices made to keep a job that left me feeling paranoid. I was no longer employed by a local studio.

After sucking up my pride I accepted a job to manage a coffee shop near the justice center. Jobs were scarce in my industry and I needed income. Soon after that my fiance' broke off our engagement. My life was a little f'd up and I was drinking a lot.

After about 7 months back in the service industry and not a lot of opportunity in music surfacing, I accepted an offer from my current boss. Earning potential was increased and the environment was a bit more creative. My co workers were/are an amazing group. The move was very positive. I absolutely needed the environment and support Rocco's has provided me . It has become very comfortable and I enjoy going to work in the morning. However, something remains missing for me. I am lacking fulfillment of my own professional path

I am wanting to return to the audio industry. Working on the CD has fueled my desire along with the knowledge "Anything is Possible"that was strongly reaffirmed during Ironman. Music is my passion.

My job quest this time will reflect the patience learned during Ironman. Out of school I took the first opportunity offered me. The pressure to find something more secure became hurried and panicked with the coming wedding and increased inconsistency of the studio I was working for.
As I start my search, I know that my current job is one that I like. That security will allow me more selectivity in my hunt. It also allows me to take my time in making the right choice.

The tough pill to swallow is that I will have to open my search up to the possibility of relocating.
Of the megaopolis cities, Chicago would be choice #1.

New CD and a makeover.

I did get a haircut. but the makeover has been to my music site. The CD is now on sale. So to celebrate I have given the music page a whole new look. The photo above is for the Gleukos web site.

I will be having a release party at Rocco's soon. Please stay tuned.

I started a run today following an afternoon filled with waisted opportunity by The Cleveland Browns. Hoping to run of the frustration a lose with playoffs still not assurd, I headed out for what I thought would be a fun night of snowstorm running. What I found was a very thin layer of ice over every thing. After a mile I wrapped it up. I had already put in a good effort on the trainer, so I was ok with the mile of ice. With the holidays over the next two days I will have lots of time to run

Anyhow, BUY MY CD!

It's Gotta be the Bike...It's not the bike.

Fed Ex dropped off a couple of packages today. One Included the sunglasses shown above along with a Rudy project hat and a couple of Gleukos sport drink samples. Thanks to Jasper Blake, Gleukos, and Rudy project for the prize. These are really nice sunglasses with two sets of lenses.

The CD also arrived. It sounds good, however there were a couple of typos I had to fix. It will go live very, very soon.

___________________________

Training is going well thus far. I am increasing frequency right now. Weekends will include 1+ hr runs and longer trainer rides. Swimming is going well but i will loose 6 days of pool time during a ten day period due to the holidays. Polar bear swim will have to count as a workout.
I really love to train. It is why I do this triathlon thing.

Steelhead really has my attention. I am really looking forward to this race. It will represent 10 years in triathlon for me. Looking back at my first season I know I have come a very long way. I have become far more balance as a multsport athlete.

IMKY hasn't sunk in yet. I am searching my soul for an unshakable reason of "Why IMKY". I need something to focus on. Last year it was "To become an IRONMAN". This year I need a new candle to fix on through out this 9 month meditation called Ironman. Searching for this has been frustrating. I am searching for an answer, tho I don't know what the question is.

_____________________________

You may have noticed that Trifolk has gone commercial. I figured, maybe I could earn a little extra dough to try and ease the sting of entry fee's. I will most likely spend over a grand for races this coming season. So, I am now hocking space on the blog. If I find that the random ads do not represent my interests(such as "Turduckin" ads) I will quickly evict the sellers.

Something had to happen

So here it is December 14th, the eve of my IM training start. I leave work feeling a bit pissy(not for any real reason, just felt that way). I stop at the bank, loose my bus pass. Purchase another in anticipation of heading to the pool. Arrive home, and decide not to run or swim. I just felt down. maybe a little depressed. I am not sure why. I think I was just having a spell of loneliness.

The goofy part is that my solution was to further isolate myself. I stayed home on Friday to clean my home, and do some laundry. A thought kept going through my brain as I cleaned. "Something has to happen. I am not inspired."

I cleaned everything. The place looks great and I am feeling very cozy now. As I woke, I felt as though my house was in order. I felt ready to begin. Not a 100%, but enough to get out the door so to speak.

As I set up the trainer, the phone rang. It was Kurt and Michelle my comrads from Ironman UK. Michelle was passing thru Cleveland on her way to Toronto to visit her family. We made a plan to all meet at Tommy's Restaurant or the Coffee shop after my ride. I got on the bike and peddled away while watching "Who Killed The Electric Car".

After my workout, I was hungry, so we settled on Tommy's. The last time I ate with Kurt and Michelle I had to eat quiche at the IMUK awards. Today I was able to stay vegan.

Being able to start my IMKY training with a visit from my co-UK competitors was exactly what I needed. A chance to look back and look forward with the people I became an Ironman with. Kurt is doing IMUSA while Michelle will be in central America.

After they left, I got dressed for a run. I Secured a ride to Tri swimming for tomorrow, and scampered off in to a wet snow for a5k round the south campus area.

My body is feeling ready for another 259 days of training. My mind is getting there.

To further fuel my fire, I noticed that Jodi and Trisaratops had made their entry into Steelhead official. I was inspired, and now my entry is official.

Michigan this year has been a right of passage for my teams. The Tigers, Pistons, and Wolverines all had to be beaten before the big show could begin. Unfortunately The cavs, Bucks, and tribe all lost the final games. For me after conquering Michigan I will be headed to Louisville for the main event. Since my goal does not include winning, I should be fine.

Waiting at the Mailbox

Standing at the start of a race is one of my favorite moments in life. For me this is the most exciting part of the race. It is the point that you have hopefully finished with the port-a-loo. The sun is beginning to rise. With every nudge toward the start, comes the realization that you are absolutly committed to this race. Your energy is at a boiling point and you have no where put it. You are focused and terrified. Once the race begins, you have no choice but to move forward, but for now, you wait.

That is what I am doing right now.

My CD is in route from the west coast. If the proof checks out, it will be available the minute I ok it. Until then, I have no CD to sell. I am missing the massive consumer cash cow we refer to as Christmas shopping season.

The Jasper Blake win a bike sweepstakes prize is also coming Fedex from Oregon. They would like me to send a photo of myself with my prize for the Gloukos web site.....What did I win? A helmet? Some sunglasses? A Kuota frame and fork? I will post this news when it arrives.

Oh bother.

Training starts Sunday. I am healthy and have had some nice workouts this week. Last night while swimming, I took a deep breath, gulped and accepted the task of training for Ironman. I know that training will be easier as I am stronger and have the experiance of training for and completing Ironman. The concern I have is that my excitement for Ironman is not as manic as it was for my first. This could be a good thing.

So anyway, here I sit beside my mailbox waiting for a couple of packages. I have my shoes tied tight and I am ready for some Long Slow Distance.

Right now is the moment before it all begins.

Just a head in the crowd (Goals for '08)

As I meditate on my goals for the 2008 season I have to look beyond the numbers and finish times.
But here they are.
2:30 Olympic Distance triathlon. I plan to race Maumee bay again. The course can be fast dependent on the wind conditions.

• The swim will be without the wetsuit for IMKY practice. I haven't gone without a wetsuit in a while. Swimming in a wave will help with the courage.
• The Bike will push my ability to stay aero as long as possible.
  

• The run has been hot during this race. My main goal will be to keep the body cool. Going at an oly effort and trying to stay cool will help me prepare for the heat in Louisville.

6hr half IM. Steelhead, Mountaineer, Deercreek

• No wetsuit at mountaineer for the above mentioned IM prep.
  
• These (70.3)are training days.
• Maintain absolute focus.
  
• Always push harder/negative splits
• Nutrition trials

13 hr IM- Louisville

• I would like to do a 1:15 swim. I feel as though I am having some swim breakthroughs.
  
• On the bike, I have to develop more power.
• My run work will include a speed phase that I largely ignored last year while I continued with base work up till IM

4hr Marathon-Not sure where.

• Because I can, and should.

My real goals this year are a bit more intro/outrospective. I have to find my motivation. Heading into my first Ironman, my motivation was clear. I had to finish. This year the goal is not as clear. I know I can finish. I am an Ironman. That mystery is solved.

Goals this year involve digging in deeper. Learning how to trust and act on early instincts. I also need to really learn to trust others. I am not as good at it as I was when I was younger. I fear going through the emotional stuff. I am unproductive with drama in my life. It also hurts a lot. I don't like going there, But I need open myself up more to the people around me.

IMUK was a great metaphor for the way I have lived the last 3 years. I have felt relatively isolated and alone during that time. Mostly I have just been licking my wounds, healing and getting stronger. All the while , Zac and Nichole are keeping an eye on me. They are amazing friends.

IMKY will be raced amongst friends. The blog community for this race is big. CTC will be represented by a bunch of us. Steelhead plans for a little vegan feast are on. I am trying to figure out how to book myself to play at the campgrounds for mountaineer. The social calender is filling quickly.

This years goal number one will be in reaching out more to the people in my life in more meaningful ways.

I feel sometimes like a single raindrop falling from the sky.
Solo and alone.
I let the wind push me,
but other than that, I follow my own path...........
Soon I will hit the ocean and join all that is,
Whole, holy hole.
No end, No beginning.
I am fluid within of a never ending ocean
As sound ceases to have any contrast
and light looses it's rhythm,
I loose my sense of self.
we are all interconnected

I am ready to re- join the universe.

Never accept what you think to be truth with out challenging it again and again

I always accepted the fact that a marathon was to far to run. The Ironman was for the "real" athletes. I fella like me should not attempt such a race. The people that could do Ironman were the really gifted men and women. They hurt less. They used personal resources much more efficiently. They had all the best gear. They had been athletes all of their life. I thought this to be true.

I had only known two Ironman finishers well. Jen and Sean. Both of them were at the top of the local tri scene. If Jen lost, it was to women named Flicker or Deboom. I honestly don't remember Sean loosing. These were my impressions of Ironman. I had no business going there.

In 1999 the three of us went to Medford, Mass for a Kona qualifier. It was my first Long course race(1.2 mile swim, 38mile bike, 9,3 mile run). It was hard, but I finished and had a good time. But it was nothing compared to Ironman I thought.

In 2005 I decided to finally try a half. I knew I could do it. I worked hard, got really nervous, and went out a ran a good race. As I finished I said, "I can do more!". I put in another season of training for the half and signed up for IMUK in '06.

Through all of my training I constantly broke through barriers of doubt. The belief that "I couldn't do it" was so deep, that it never completely vanished until I started running onto The Sherborn Castle grounds 14 hours 30 odd minutes after the canon sounded. At that moment Every thing I had ever believed about not being able to do an Ironman vanished. At that moment any doubt that I had ever had in my life vanished. "Anything is Possible" they say in Ironman.

Much of what I learned growing up is true. Much is not. Much of my life has been spent trying to find out what is real and what is not. Sometimes I get hurt, and sometimes I get lost. But somehow I always land on my feet, or at least I am able to get back up off my ass.

Some of what I have seen is downright disturbing and sometimes I wonder how I stay half sane( I maintain that I am not crazy, just a bit silly). Most of the time much of what I see is amazing. It makes me happy that I am where I am.

I believe in magic. I believe in things that don't make any sense. I believe everything I was taught was meant to be questioned. I believe that truth can change. I believe that I should continue to question every thing I believe. I believe that every one of us can be everything we hope to be, and everyone of us has things about us that we could have never imagined.

Just because we accept something to be true doesn't mean it is. Challenging what we have already accepted as truth will allow us to do the impossible.

It's time to make my goals for '08.

I just kinda don't want to be in my skin

Royal slug photographed at the Tower of London

The last week has been a little weird for me. I have been feeling a bit sluggish. Today I worked out for the first time since last Monday. It is the longest stretch of total rest for a long time. I got a nasty cold/flu that I decided to shut down everything in an effort to get over it. As an added benefit I have been able to rest the pain in my bum. My goal right now is to be healthy when It is time to start my base work. I have set Dec 15 as the GO date.

Another side effect of not training and being sick is the crankiness. Nothing is really bothering me, I just kinda don't want to be in my skin when I am sick. I have tried to keep that in check. I think I am leveling out right now.

With all of the free time I have been able to put the new collection of music together as an actual disc. I am awaiting my proof of the entire package. Once I approve the proof, the disc will be available through my site and on Amazon. I will also bring them to shows.

I have become a contributer to two Blog Groups. http://ironmanlouisville2008.blogspot.com/
and http://sportyvegans.blogspot.com/ I am excited to have these outlets for my vegan rants and the IMLube banter. Not to worry, I will not exclude that stuff from this page. However, I can share directly with others going through the same experiance as me with out having to look to far. It is one reason I enjoy the CTC forum. Anyhow, contributing should be fun. I also look forward to having all of these bloggers in one place.

Aside from that, I got nothing.

One more thing, most of you know already that we(OSU/Cleveland sports fans) get another shot at the big game this year....Go Bucks!